Winning Poems 2011

Winner: Emma Jones  

Poems: "JOBS" in the WORK category &  "G.C.S.E (A poem about teaching drama in an inner London secondary school)" in the GRAND FINAL.

WORK Category:

"JOBS" by Emma Jones

Well I've done a lot of jobs

Most of which were shitty

But I don't want your props

And I don't want your pity

It's pretty uninspiring

Sitting and perspiring

In a call centre; it's like some dementor

It'll suck out your soul, leave you empty and cold

A bottomless hole like some previously untold

Circle of hell; we're working in hell

Where your headset is a ball and chain

And the emptiness hurts more than pain

And your nineteen year old supervisor

Comes to your desk just to chastise ya

Because you even dared to take

Fifteen minutes on a comfort break-!?

Telesales: that's the worst of the lot

If you succeed you're a cunt, and if not

They sit you with the top prick: "watch and learn; 

This is what you do if you want to earn"

One day, I lasted in that little caper

Got a job as an office junior shuffling paper,

"You see this little hole in the envelope, yeah?

Well the person's address... goes there".

Argh! they act like you've had a lobotomy, 

You think: should I tell them I've got a degree? Nah

And the photocopier eats all the paper you put in it

And you're watching the clock and you're counting the minutes 

And the second hand crawls by- but why does time always fly

At weekends, when you're with friends, and spending money?

It's funny, that, 

Oh I've done a lot of jobs

Most of which were shitty

But I don't want your props

And I don't want your pity

It's pretty damn disgusting 

Cleaning and a-dusting

Sweeping and a-mopping

For plebs who go shopping

And dropping food all over the floor, 

And what kind of people eat at the in-store restaurant?

Well messy cunts, that's who

They must throw food at their faces and miss

And I can tell you this

Cause I cleaned it every morning at 6am

I've cleaned postmen's toilets; that was quite grim

I've cleaned out sanitary disposal bins

The monotony was what got to me

I've filed and stapled made cups of tea

I've done factories, I've done fax machines

Yes I've done a lot of jobs

Most of which were shitty

But I don't want your props

And I don't want your pity

It's pretty damn demeaning

Men leaning over the bar

To look down your bra 

And then grabbing your arse as you pass 

With an armful of glasses

Being a waitress, yeah you get tips.

For tables of men to stare at your tits

And go snapping their fingers and acting like dicks

When you spill a bit of wine 

Cause you've worked for nine hours at a time

With no break

And your hands are starting to shake

If I was a maid in the Victorian age

I'd probably get paid even more of a wage 

Slaving away for three pounds an hour 

And there's no union, no people power

You're the shit-on

So know your place and cower.

And if

Someone says:

"Cheer up love, 

It might never happen"

Smile sweetly. 

Resist the urge to slap 'em. 

Oh I've done a lot of jobs

Most of which were shitty

But I don't want your props

And I don't want your pity. 

©  Emma Jones

GRAND FINAL:

G.C.S.E (A poem about teaching drama in an inner London secondary school) 

by Emma Jones

Miss you're always on about GCSEs 

Oh gosh, you should allow it Miss please

It just seems so singular 

There's more important fings you knaa

G.C.S.E

Like: 

Girls 

Cussing

Shadika's

Extensions

Cause oh my days Miss, did I mention?

That thing on her head looked flammable

It was like a dead flippin' animal!

I lie? True say I don't chat shit

It wasn't a weave it was more like a thatch, yeah? 

G.C.S.E

Miss! I gotta GCSE!

I've got to Get to the Chicken Shop... Early!

I promised Devontae I'd buy him some hot wings

And Miss I've got to cause he's such a hot ting

I'm gonna meet wiv him, eat wiv him, maybe later b...

Anyway  Miss, I've gotta boost fam!

N Don't cut your eyes at me cause that's the truth man!

G.C.S.E

Miss... 

I've got to Get to College Somewhere Eventually

and I've got to Get my Core Subjects like English

And I've got to Get my Coursework Sent to the Examiners

Miister Manufor told me dis dis morning, 

And Miss! I can't just ignore him

And no disrespect Miss, 

And don't get vexed Miss, but: 

It's just drama. It's just drama. 

Miss I've gotta GCSE!

Gotta get Chung for the Shubs this Eve! 

I'm gonna look swaggalicious all in purple

I can't stay for no after school rehearsal 

And anyway 

I don't like this play;

It's... Gay.....

Miss you're always on about GCSEs 

Oh gosh, you should allow it Miss please

It just seems so singular 

There's more important fings you knaa!

©  Emma Jones